I prayed for God to show me whether or not He had closed the door on an opportunity I was presented with earlier this week but have not heard more about it since then.  I prayed “God, if you’ve closed the door to the opportunity, please show me clearly.  I am not very good at giving up hope and then when things don’t “go my way” I am very disappointed.  Can you please show me clearly either to keep hoping or not?  You know exactly what is best for me.  I trust You.”  What you don’t hear in that prayer are the doubts that are going on in my mind.  The ones that tell me I’m not good enough; God won’t answer you.  And the questions: God, why won’t you just let this happen for me?  Why is my desire and request being denied?  I am honestly not trying to use You as a genie, I just want communication with You in a real and tangible way.

I have been spending more time in the Word lately and especially in a book that I picked up a while ago by Stormie Omartian called “Praying God’s Will for Your Life”.  It is an excellent book that has spoken to me so very much over the past month.  After praying that prayer about closed doors, the chapter I read spoke very much to me.  God did very much answer my prayer that I spoke just minutes before.  And I was moved to tears for several reasons.  Some of confusion.  Some of hope in knowing God will provide what is best for me no matter what.  I shouldn’t just give up hope just because of this one potential opportunity.  My hope shouldn’t be hinged on Earthly opportunity but it should be ever rooted in my knowledge of my King and of His trustworthiness in providing everything I could ever need and then blessings on top of that, which I surely don’t deserve.

Chapter 15 (p.123) is “Praying to say yes to God each day of your life” and specifically spoke about releasing your dreams with the understanding that He knows them and will provide more for you if you let Him do the planning instead of trying to do it yourself.  Easier said than done, right?  “The part we don’t want to hear is that a time comes when each of us must place our desires and dreams in the hands of God so that He might free us from those that are not His Will.  In other words, you secure your future by releasing your dream to God, and if need be, allowing it to die.  If you’ve always had a certain picture of what you think you should do, you have to be willing to let the picture be destroyed.  If it really is what God has for you, He will raise you up to do that and more.  If it isn’t, you will be frustrated as long as you cling to it.” (enter the crying and pleading and confusion of why my picture needs to be destroyed because it seems so great to me…) And on to the very next sentence…”Often the desires of your heart are the desires of His heart, but they still must be achieved His way, not yours, and you must know that it is He who is accomplishing them in you, not you achieving them yourself.  God wants us to stop holding on to our dreams and to start holding on to Him so that He can enable us to soar above ourselves and our own limitations.  Whenever we let go of what we long for, God will bring it back to us in another dimension.”

I needed to hear that.  I needed to hear the truth.  It isn’t about knowing right at this very minute whether the door to the opportunity has been closed or not.  It is about trusting God and saying “yes” to Him and His Will for my life whether the door is closed or not.  It is trusting that He does know the desires of my heart and He is listening to them.  Trusting that with His knowledge of my desires, if they align with His Will, He will provide opportunities that will far exceed any plan or dream I could have of fulfilling that desire.  Even if that means saying yes to Him every moment my mind starts to go rogue…say yes and bring it back to Him alone as my Hope, my Provider, and enthrone Him as Lord (Psalm 95:1-5) over every dream and desire.

Romans 8:5; Luke 9:23-24; Psalm 37:4; Matthew 4:10; Psalm 40:8

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