This is from an email I sent this morning to the girls in my small group and I feel like every time I write them a lengthy email it may as well be a blog.  So why not?

Okay, so I’ve been meaning to write you guys anyway and been meaning to update my blog…and been meaning to, meaning to, meaning to…my life has been a lot of that lately with the time just flying on by.  I just wanted to take a minute though to share with you not so much of what I am currently stressing over but to focus on a praise and recognition of such a direct answer to prayer that was just revealed to me in a neat way.  Well, as you all know, I have a blog that I’m terrible at updating but I do from time to time.  Well I wrote a blog this year on February 10, 2014 and here’s an excerpt of what part of it said:

“My heart aches for an easy time conceiving, but I know God has a plan and He has a sense of humor. I pray that we will conceive naturally this time around. And of course that it would be sooner rather than later. But I trust God’s plan for us. And I am so grateful for His provisions for our family thus far and I know His timing is perfect. God is working in me to teach me to know Him and to believe Him (Isaiah 43:10) in my life. He wants to show me His power and to have me trust Him fully. He is my all in all. And for now, I will “let all the other names fade away” and focus only on Him and allow Him to take His place in my life, rather than allowing infertility to creep back up, along with the names of my future children whom I haven’t met yet, Jesus is my comfort, my peace, my everything. And through Him I will be sustained in all things(Psalm 54:4).”

That was February 10, 2014 and we found out we were pregnant on March 16, 2014 after an easy time conceiving, even with my testing for ovulation and having a longer cycle length still.  God so directly answered my prayer to get to conceive “like everyone else” without much trouble or to-do about it.  He answered our prayer about conceiving naturally this time around.  And He answered our prayer about it being sooner rather than later.  Wow.  To me, those are not one, not two, but three big answers to prayer.  And quick answers at that.  May not seem big to anyone else but God cares about our desires no matter what they are and if they will ultimately be for our good and His glory, He loves to bless Him children through those direct answers I think.

So why do I still hesitate to trust Him and turn to Him?  Why do I struggle to commune with Him daily the way my heart aches to?  I think I’m bad about subconsciously personifying God into being like my earthly fathers and the relationships I have with each of them that I keep God at arm’s length.  Not too close, God.  Yet He is lovingly there for me and desiring me to pursue Him moment after moment, patiently, always there.  And then I realize I’m being a spoiled brat.  I just wanted to share that snippet with you all to share and celebrate some of the answers I’ve received that I’ve neglected to use for His glory.  I’ve had a difficult time connecting to this pregnancy due to the cyst and since it did happen so quickly for us that I really believe I’ve been a bit in denial…not that I’m not over the moon and excited about it all of course, it just took me by surprise.  But I want to revel in it the way I should and proclaim His good works in us and in our family by recognizing His provisions.  A lot of times I still manage to feel guilty and that I don’t deserve God’s love and His provisions, but in Christ, I was set free and made clean and the new me CAN openly accept all that God has and wants to give me.  He wants us to delight in what He gives us.  He loves to see His children happy.

My devotion this morning speaks to this very point.  “Learn to enjoy life more.  Relax, remembering that I am God with you.  I crafted you with enormous capacity to know Me and enjoy My PResence.  When My people wear sour faces and walk through their lives with resigned rigidity, I am displeased.  When you walk through a day with childlike delight, savoring every blessing, you proclaim your trust in Me, your ever-present Shepherd.  The more you focus on My Presence with you, the more fully you can enjoy life.  Glorify Me through your pleasure in Me.  Thus you proclaim My Presence to the watching world.”

Amen, sisters…”The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him Emmanuel” (which means “God with us”) Matthew 1:23

“The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full!” John 10:10

I know we are all going through different things right now and have gone through things this summer.  I certainly need prayer for a few things coming up that I will share with you later, but I would love to hear a couple of praises from everyone that we can just lift up in thanksgiving and proclaim His presence among us!  I know I have so many more praises I could share as well.  What a mighty, giving, and gentle King we have the privilege to walk in communion with each and every moment of every day.
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